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Hashtag Hipster Nonsense

Hipster Nonsense

I am a whiny old man. The internet is filled with enough complainers, but I think I get more joy complaining about #HipsterNonsense than any other thing I could possibly complain about. What is wrong with these people? Like its 85 degrees, in July, in a church, why the beanie bro? They also can’t get enough scarfs huh?

Cold, Lonely Hipster

Ok fashion aside, since I typically dress like a 38 year old dad lookin to go rake some leaves on a Sundee, its the whole fuckin hipster mentality that gets to me. NO WAY BRO, YOU LIVE IN BROOKLYN? YOU LIVE IN CAMBRIDGE? THAT’S SO COOL! ARE YOU FROM THERE? No, I moved there in pursuit of my hipster dreams. At least “hippies” from the 60s were literally just homeless nitwits stuck on acid. This hipster movement is smug, and douchey.

Here’s a list of what Hipsters Love:

  • Bob Dylan – A somewhat irrational notion that Bob Dylan was the greatest man who ever lived.
  • EDM – Though Dylan is their God, these people somehow still get down with robot farts.
  • Non-corrective lenses – that one’s obvious.
  • Mustaches
  • The Cheapest, Shittiest brands of cigarettes they can find – cuz Mahbs are too main stream.
  • Absurd Micro-Brews – and WE’RE the dicks if we’ve neva heard of ’em

But most of all, they love emitting a wry, unwarranted sense of entitlement as if they think, “I dress this way, and like this stuff, so therefore, you must assume I am smart.”

So Folks, I encourage you, if ur ever irked by a smug hipster, who talked down to you outside a bar or starbucks in his (or her. . ?) stupid condescending hipster tone, tweet about it #HipsterNonsense. And give me credit. Cuz I totally didn’t subconsciously steal the term from Tina Fey in an episode of 30 Rock.

#HipsterNonsense

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1 Comment

  1. Reblogged this on Embassy Inc. and commented:

    #HipsterNonsense

    Reply

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